Review: Zilla’s Guide to Ordering Top Nosh on Menulog

Let’s just open with a big ol’ disclaimer. I got offered a free feed to review Menulog, a nifty online food delivery service I had no idea even existed, probably because I’m closer to the “Meals on Wheels” demographic.


Zilla’s Guide to Ordering Top Nosh on Menulog

STEP ONE: Move to a better real estate location (optional)

I live in a suburb that only has three streets, which house fewer than 500 people who only stopped bathing in rainwater from tanks about three or four years ago. We can’t even get satellite Foxtel here and the only mobile phone reception is from Telstra (urgh), and that’s only if I stand on one leg halfway up the driveway in a very specific spot. We don’t have gutters. Or footpaths. On the plus side though, we can flush our solid waste now.

STEP TWO: Visit Menulog and search for restaurants that deliver to your postcode

It’s a miracle we can even get the internet at all up here, so it was no great surprise that when I logged onto Menulog I had the grand total of ONE restaurant to order from. I was actually very excited to find one, because that meant my evil plan to avoid cooking dinner was finally in full swing. By way of comparison, the postcode I used to live in has a choice of 32 mouth-watering restaurants, but that suburb also had drug dealers working in all the local parks, so I guess it’s a trade-off.

STEP THREE: Choose your restaurant

This was a quick step for us, it was Indian or nothing. Much harder for those of you who have 32 different cuisines available in your immediate area. And if you live somewhere like Newtown – with 120 restaurants to choose from, half of them with the word “Tofu” in the name – good luck with that. With great choice comes great responsibility.

STEP FOUR: Order your dishes

I expected to struggle with this but I sailed through the ordering process with remarkable ease because, well, it’s remarkably easy to use. My husband particularly liked that they listed the vegetarian dishes together, so he could scroll right past and not waste any precious time getting to the all menu items with meat in them.

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STEP FIVE: Pay for your food

Again, too easy, except for the fact that I entered my credit card number in the Account Name field TWICE, until my husband became aware of my cursing, peered over my shoulder and gently pointed out that I was entering my details in the wrong field, which was otherwise clearly labelled. Menulog 1, Zilla 0.

STEP SIX: Wait for your food to be delivered

The thing about living in a quiet little town is that the takeaway places aren’t usually pumping on a Tuesday night, so not long after logging our order we received a call advising us that the delivery driver wasn’t available. No fault of Menulog, just the price you pay when you live semi-rural and the guy who drives the horse and cart has retired for the night.

STEP SEVEN: Take Instagram pictures of your artfully plated-up meals, upload them to #jealousmuch and start eating

I always fail at this one because a) I am too busy being hungry to think about photographing my food and b) I am too old for all that social sharing nonsense anyway. I just want to eat the damn stuff. So to compensate for my complete failure to photograph the food before we devoured it, here is a picture of the empty take away containers. Let me assure you, it was all supremely delicious.

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Any of my metro friends with a hankering for food you haven’t cooked yourself can hit them up here at Sydney Food Delivery.

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